Diarrhea Cha-cha-cha

If the title didn’t send you fleeing for the hills, the content will.

(That means: You’ve been warned!)

Sprite has been having some problems in the diaper area for the last 7 days. We’ve been watching and waiting (and smelling) it out to see if the flood waters would recede (I know, Ew!), but this morning’s diaper check had me calling her doctor so they could see what we’re dealing with.

I even brought them the nasty diaper as proof. In a zip lock bag. (I think I deserve a mommy medal for this. A big one. That smells of lavender. And that lavender will air out my van.) Sprite’s Huggies were playing double duty (doodee) that day. (We’re only 4 paragraphs in and I’ve mentioned fecal matter 5 times including the word “fecal”, now 6. This post is not up for any Pulitzers. Maybe a poopy Pulitzer? Now 7.)

Here’s the back story on her backside. Don’t worry. I’ll keep it clean. (Since Sprite obviously couldn’t.)

Last Sunday, not this past Sunday, but the one before (You probably figured that out, huh?), we took Sprite to my company picnic to make merry with a bunch of co-workers. Sprite had her first taste of hot dogs, (it was Kosher) and a lot of juice since it was very hot outside and we were more concerned with keeping her hydrated than trying to force feed her water. She may have been slipped a Cheeto or two and I’m sure I saw some pastries enter her mouth at one point. Basically, the kid ate her weight in crap.

I wasn’t surprised when we got the call the next day from her daycare about the loose deuce. (Come on, you HAD to get that one.) John and I jockeyed for position to take her to the doctor and John won. Or did he? (We were aiming for the doctor’s note, sure this thing would subside within the day and Sprite would be back to normal.) Of course, the doctor didn’t find anything wrong, and Sprite held everything in so the doctor couldn’t see or smell any problems, and we got our note to bring her back to daycare.

For the rest of the week, I kept noting “loose BM” on her daily activity sheet. Sometimes 3 times in a day. Sometimes it was written in red. And circled. With exclamation points. (Whatever.) The problem was not going away.

We brought her to the East Coast this past weekend to help my sister move (she was good for carrying one or two boxes, right?), and she continued to have her posterior problems, now requiring rash cream to keep the redness at a minimum. At one point, she had a severe case of the runs during her nap and got it all over her pack-n-play. John took the contaminated child (Unclean! Unclean!) to the bathroom for an impromptu bath and I tackled the pack-n-play to sanitize it. (Oh yeah, I’m not getting paid to say this at all, I guarantee you. But I have the Graco Pack-n-Play and I LOVE IT! With just a little bit of rubbing with anti-bacterial wipes, the dookee came right off! And look, no stains! ) (If anyone from Graco is reading this, and likes it, I would like some monetary compensation. Thanks.) (By the way, the name should be changed from Pack-N-Play to Hose-N-Go. Can I get paid for that suggestion too?)

So, anyhoo, we’re up to date to today. This morning’s check up noted that Sprite was down a full pound. (All right, I don’t know if I should say anything here since I really don’t know the specifics behind it, but unless Sprite is going for a well check in which she is sans diaper for the weigh-in, it’s hard for me to believe the weight is accurate, since you’re taking into account the shoes, and clothes, and the amount of cheerios she ingested while sitting in the waiting area, and whatever toy she won’t let go of at that moment. Plus, her daycare has a lot of sand in their playground, so that gets into the shoes and other crevices and can weigh her down as well. Oh, and does it make a difference if she stepped onto the scale for the weigh in the week before and then was placed on the infant scale this morning? So, the pound difference in a week’s time is not seeming like such a big deal to me. For now. Wow, I said it. And I’m still here… Are you?) (*crickets*)

They sent us on our way with a pack of three vials in which I was to collect samples of her, um, examples and then bring the vials back for testing. I thought the diaper I had brought for dissection would be enough (it sure looked like enough.) (Yes, I know, that was bad. I’m sorry.) (Wuss.), but they needed more. (Plus, the diaper cleared out the lab.) (It’s true. I was sitting in the exam room with Sprite and could hear them out in the hallway yelling for the Febreze and to “close the door!” and “Where’s the hazmat suits?”)

So, I brought Sprite back to daycare with her note (the strained smiles they put on when they saw us come in barely covered the irritation) and with instructions that they were to call me when Sprite gave them, um, a reason to (Sorry, trying to stay away from the references) and then I would swoop in and collect my samples as needed. (Screw the mommy medal. I want a vacation.)

And that’s where we stand right now. I’m not sure what we’re dealing with. I know it’s not Rota virus (which allegedly smells like rotten eggs and vinegar) but I don’t know much else. (Yes, that can extend into other areas of life as well.) (Yeah, you were thinking it.)

Now, you’re in the loop on the poop, where’s the scoop?

The scoop is, we’re taking Sprite in tomorrow for her well baby check (18 months!) and the doctor will continue to monitor her weight and see how she’s doing. Right now, the doctor is thinking “Toddler Diarrhea”, which is just growing pains minus the strains. (I really need to stop this now.)

I’ll keep you in the know since I’m sure you have to go, while this post just seems to grow, your patience is running low, and your irritation is starting to show. (Seriously, can you put that away? You’re offending the children.)